Driving me to insanity!
by Shadowhunterwolf
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki, a shizo with lying problems, has just been admitted to Konoha mental or as he called it "Fucking rainbow land". There he mets someone who might just make him lose what bit of he has left, plus a whole bunch of other people that are not important. But it seems that one of the doctors are planning something, something that has to do with Naruto...something evil. SxN
1. ARMY OF UNICORNS, ASSEMBLE!

**Kyuu: Why, why do you betray me so!**

**Shut up!**

**Sooo on with the story, again! **

**P.S I will be uploading three chapters! yay!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, It'd really suck...**

**Warnings: slight swearing, shounen-ai, and complete insanity!**

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A blond boy who looked to be 15 stood outside a big white building and looked as if he wanted to take an army of angry unicorns and destroy said building; in his strangely small hands he held bags full of unidentified objects so he couldn't reach his cell to call the government for said army. When he noticed the big white letters that seemed to crown the building like a seat would a toilet just seemed to make him even angrier than he already seemed to be and the bird that resided in one of the O's seemed to be mocking him as if he had just had his pants pulled down. But with a sigh the blond walked forward as if the grim reaper was writing his name in his death note in the cracking white building. The doors that led inside were a heavy looking black metal and when he tried opening it, it seemed he was right they were _heavy_. When he had finally finished his unnamed wrestling match with the door from hell and got inside he noticed that the secretary was staring at him strangely from all the noise he had been making with the door. He just stared back until she looked away from his eyes feeling a tad bit uncomfortable from his electric blue eyes with red rings around his pupils, he smirked and walked forward.

"Hello and welcome to Konoha Mental Hospital, how may I help you?" the lady asked.

"Your hair is black." Came the whispered reply from the blond, like he was trying to keep it a secret.

The woman looked confused by the statement for a second before realisation dawned on her face, which then looked at her computer screen which she typed something into before looking up again to the blank faced boy.

"You must Uzumaki Naruto correct?" was the confident sounding answer to the weird statement.

"No."

"Kakashi! Come get the new addition to your group you baka!" screamed the women, completely ignoring the comment the boy made.

A man with white gravity deifying hair came into the almost bare room except for a few poor pot plants; it had been ten minutes since the woman had called him _no _screamed for him and she was fuming.

"You're late Mr Hatake."

"Heh Heh sorry Kin, I got lost on the icing road of coffee….." The man had a smooth voice, like melted sugar.

**Yo gaki, why didn't you wake me up from my nap? Omg his hair is almost as bad as yours!**

**_I didn't wake you up because you always sing Beyoncé when you wake up and you are quite true about the hair, it looks like he keeps a crow in there (1). _**

It was true, the blonds hair stood on end as if he had just been electrocuted or like he had just gotten out of bed.

**If I were a boy even for just a day, I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go drink beer with the guys!~**

**_Firstly, you are a boy and secondly, this is why I didn't wake you up -.-'_**

**WHAT? How the hell did you do a smiley?**

**_That my infuriating head mate is my secret only._**

**Aww….**

"Hello, earth to Blondie are you alive?**"** the white haired man Kakashi was now three inches away from his face and his strawberry smelling breath was wafting out from the mask.

"Ichigo."

"What?" Kakashi backed away from the boy with his only visible eye curving into a rainbow.

"Your breath smells like strawberries, therefore you are Ichigo." At the end of this information Kin let out an amused snort before turning back to her work.

**What could she possibly need to be typing up in a mental hospital?**

**_I really don't know or care either =3_**

**Your mean you know!**

**_I learnt from the best didn't I? But shut up for a bit I need to concentrate on where we're going or else later we're gonna get lost._**

He was right, Kakashi had started to leave in to a giant maze of corridors similar to the never ending maze and if he didn't pay attention to where he was going he would be getting lost a lot. After three rights and one left which led to a wrong than another right, Naruto heard laughter coming from roughly five steps away from where he was. After his long adventurous and a T-shirt gaining journey of five and a half steps (half because the was a bug in his path and he didn't want to step on it) he could see into a large room filled to the brim with air, and in that air space was a large couch holding two people, three comfy looking chairs, plenty of cushions, board games and T.V connected with a gaming system. In the room there were currently six people who consisted of three brunettes, two blonds and a pink haired lady all of which who were now staring at the new addition to their group and counsellor.

**Can I eat them?**

**_No you may not -_-_**

**Stop it with the damn faces and why not?**

**_You don't even know their names and you want to eat them, you at least have to know a person to do that._**

**So….**

**_Yes…._**

**What you're saying is****_….._**

**_Yes….._**

**That I may eat them when we know them?!**

**_Yes…. Wait no….. Maybe a just a bite…_**

**Awesome :D Hey look I can do the faces to! :( :) =3 **

**_Will you stop that!_**

**No :P**

"Argh! Will you just shut up?!" The blond screamed while bashing his head against the nearest flat surface available.

When he had finally gotten the voice to stop talking he stopped damaging his poor brain and looked around the room at the people now staring at him with wide eyes. He stood up from the floor where he had been denting his forehead and wiped a speck of dust off his shoulder, the people just continued staring at him until one of the brunettes with red triangles lining his cheeks started laughing.

"Dude you so do belong in here, guys I think he's like Gaara, ne?" the dog like boy said, it seemed like he was high to the blond.

"Are you high?" he just happened to ask to make sure.

"No…"

"Okay, did you know that your eyes are green?" now the blond was starting up with his weird questions again.

"My eyes are not green their black, what the hell are you talking about blondie?"

"Nothing."

"Okay Kiba let him be, he doesn't know what he's talking about, and Naruto please try to at least tell the truth." Kakashi butted in before Kiba could do anything drastic to the pathological liar.

"Truth? Oh now I get it your like Sai aren't you?" the now named Kiba asked not even bothering explaining more since Naruto didn't know who this Sai person was.

Naruto just stared at them blankly for a few seconds before he left Kakashi's side and sat down in the corner of the room then he started whispering to himself, occasionally he would scowl or cock his head to the side.

"Well seeing as he is clearly busy I'm telling you guys who his unfortunate roommate is, so when it's time for lunch will you please take him and afterwards would you please show him to your room Shikamaru?" Kakashi said, indirectly tell who blondie's roommate was.

"Che, troublesome," luckily it was with the mellowest guy of the group.

"AND YOU! YOU HAIR IS GREEN AND YOUR EYES ARE YELLOW, STOP LYING ITS TRUE I TELL YOU!" A scream came from the wall to their right, well to be more specific it was the strange blonde who was now crying.

"Okay well I'll leave you guys for now!" Kakashi snuck out the room while everyone was still staring at the blond who had now fallen asleep against the wall.

"Hey Shikamaru, I think you two will get along _very well_ don't you?" Kiba asked with an evil laugh at the end but he started chocking so he stopped before he died or worse, passed out.

"Hn"

"Dude, now you're starting to sound like that crazy Uchiha guy," the brunette was about to start laughing again but then he remembered what happened the last time and decided against it.

"HELLO MY YOUTHFUL FRIENDS, HOW IS THY YOUTHFUL SELVES FULL OF YOUTH THIS FINE YOUTHFUL MORNING! **YOUTH!**" A_ very _loud shout left everyone's ears ringing after a boy with a bowl haircut and wearing a green spandex suit entered the room.

"WHO ATE MY BEAVER?!*" came the sleepy sounding question from a confused blond who was woken up by a green blur and the shout of youth.

"OH WHO IS THIS YOUTH FILLED FELLOW OF YOUTH? IS HE THAT YOUTHFUL GUY THAT YOUTHFUL GAI-SENSEI WAS YOUTHFULLY TALKING YOUTHFULLY ABOUT!" the green clad boy tried to run up and hug the blond but as soon as he got close the blond started screaming and wailing.

This drove the green beast to a standstill like a train that killed thousands of people because the driver wouldn't hit a mouse; it also brought the counsellor Iruka running into the room like his underwear was on fire, which very well could have been. But just as Iruka opened his mouth to talk a shrill bell rang and left every ones newly stopped ringing ears to ring even louder than the bell tower in Nostradamus.

"Hey guys who was that Sasuke guy you were talking about by the way?" asked a now silent Naruto.

"…" every human, animal and even molecule kept dead still.

"Naruto you must stay away from Sasuke, he really is crazy." Iruka pleaded the boy.

"Don't worry Iruka, I'll look after him since he's kinda cool," Kiba said after pretending to brush his teeth with his finger, we don't know why though.

"Yes well it's lunch time now, on you go." Iruka ushered them out the room.

"Kiba do you really mean you'll look after me?" The small sounding blond asked in a small sounding childish voice and when Kiba nodded, Naruto cried out and latched onto Kiba's back like a monkey and wouldn't let go.

(Page breakers breaking pages since pages needed to be broke)

Iruka's POV:

Just as the kids left Kakashi walked in with a frown evident even through his mask.

"What happened Kakashi is everything alright?" asked Iruka, worry evident in his voice oh wait never mind that's how he always sounded, he hee.

"Sasuke got out of solitude again….."

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(1)** Meant to be ironic as the name Kakashi means scarecrow.**

**Well here's the first chapter!**

**If there is something that you would like answered, leave a reveiw and I'll answer as soon as I can!**

**Love Shadowhunter~**


	2. WHERE THE HELL IS MY SANDWICH!

**Warnings: same as the last time, this is the last time I am putting this here...**

**Why hello again!**

**Kyuu: Hi!**

**Hey! Get back in your cage! I'm still angry at you! *starts beating kyuu with a stick***

**Kyuu:Ok, ok jeez...**

**Well here is the next chapter! Enjoy!**

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"What!"

"You really didn't hear what I said? I said Sasuke go-"

"Yes I heard what you said! Who was on guard this time?" Iruka interrupted Kakashi with a scowl.

"Ibisu, I'd stay clear of him for a while because he quite pissed." The white haired man explained while pulling out a small orange book from somewhere.

"Okay, okay just go gather up some people and find him." Iruka sighed as Kakashi left the room.

"He's quite the looker ain't he Iruka, the little blond boy?" A deep voice asked him from the shadows, the figure walked out and revealed coal black eyes, bluish hair and pale angular features, kinda like an emo elf.

"Sasuke Pepe** Uchiha, aren't you supposed to be in solitude?"

"Why yes Iruka I am, but I'd rather be in solitude with that little blond riding my di-"

"Enough Sasuke you know that the hospital doesn't allow relationships unless it helps both patients, even if it would help you I don't think Naruto would-"

"Naruto, Naruto Uzumaki is here, oh this just keeps getting better Heh? You just watch Iruka as soon as Naruto sees me; you'll have a hard time getting him away." With this _fascinating_ story thing and a lifetime of interrupted sentences, Sasuke slipped back into the shadows and disappeared.

Which left a confused beyond belief fact or fiction (A/N: come on just had to do that) Iruka and some plants that were just unfortunate enough to witness the entire event. Iruka just walked off to try and sit in his office to think about recent events but he walked into someone because he wasn't paying attention.

"What Iruka, you can't get enough of me so you follow and then crash into me?" came the amused sounding comment from the person he had crashed into, which just happened to be the Uchiha.

"Oh no Sasuke this time I'm taking you back to solitude before you cause any more trouble than you have already." As Iruka said this he grabbed the ravens arm and started dragging him towards one of the two corridors that led to many magical places, well that's what the delusional patients said at least.

But as Iruka was about half way to the doorway that led to the solitude ward a shrill bell rang announcing that lunch was over. Iruka's eyes widened and Sasukes smirk grew even wider if possible, because this meant that the other patients would be caught in Sasukes eyes and that meant a possible grave and some tea. Just then a scream of surprise was heard and a loud thump soon followed, Iruka only saw the mop of gold hair spread out on the floor to know that Naruto had been pinned under a maniac that what to get into the blondes pants.

"Sa- Sa- Sasuke? Is that really you?"

(Pages breakers leaving pages broke and in need of money since before money was invented)

Naruto had just been walking down a brightly lit hallway of candy drops and lolly pops, when smack he walked into a wall. He glared at the revolting white barrier waiting to see if it would just disintegrate or you know do a jig or something.

**Hey Naruto! Get me a sandwich! P)**

**_Go get yourself one you lazy ass! And what the hell kind of face is that? ^O.O^_**

**Well DUH! It's a pirate, you need to get your mind right!**

**_I would be okay if you left! -.-_**

**Now what good would tha-?**

His internal conversation was interrupted when a heavy object collided with his chest, causing two things to happen at once (Well SOMEONES good at multitasking aren't they?) 1.) All the air got knocked out of his lungs as his body hit the floor and 2.) He realised that he didn't have his shoes on anymore, just socks…. DAMMIT someone stole his shoes!

But what he saw was an absolute surprise; the person sitting on his warm stomach was none other than his former best friend, Sasuke Uchiha who he hadn't seen for five years. His eyes widened and his eyes started tearing up, mainly because of the pain in his lower back but still from seeing the best friend he thought had abandoned him could also cause a few tears.

"Sa- Sa- Sasuke? Is that really you?"

"Why hello my dear Naruto, how have you been these few years, I hope Kyuu hasn't been bothering you much?" Sasuke said while leaning down to bury his face in Naruto's neck, the smell he hadn't thought he'd never smell again.

"I thought you'd left me forever, but you kept your promise that you'd be my friend forever!" The blonde was now crying and clinging onto the raven haired boy on top of him.

"Why of course Naruto, have I ever lied to you before?" Sasuke's smooth voice said, calming the blonde like lemon juice would a cut.

"Yes…" Sasuke ignored the lie and continued smelling his blonde, until he got bored of doing that and started licking his neck.

"Sasuke what are you doing?" the blonde almost moaned.

"Why I'm just showing you how much I missed you is all, do you want me to leave Naruto?"

"N-n-no, please don't leave me alone again Sasuke, I beg you!" Naruto sat up immediately looking at the raven haired boy teary eyes.

"Oh don't worry Naruto I'll never leave you again, unless the institution says otherwise than I have no choice." Sasuke said slyly, Iruka than realised what he was doing.

At the mention of forcefully being separated from Sasuke, Naruto started wailing loudly as tears rolled down his face. Which in turn caused Iruka to go into full panic mode while Sasuke was going in horny Uchiha drive, wait no he's like that all the time, and Kyuubi was still whining about his sandwich but no one heard him except for Shukaku who then wanted a donut and caused Gaara to go on a rampage complaining about jelly. After Iruka calmed Naruto down by giving him an Itachi plushie and a promise of getting him a sandwich (which Deidara had already eaten as well as all the clay) Naruto stopped crying and clung onto Sasuke like a baby monkey (A.N I can sooo totally picture Sasuke a mama baboon, can't you?).

"Naruto, I'll see what I can do but for now I have to take Sasuke back to isolation and take you to your new roommate that I'm giving you." Iruka sighed and pulled the boys off the floor, Naruto then climbed onto Iruka's back because he understood that it would help him get to see Sasuke, somehow… maybe.

**GET ME THAT ASS, wait I mean… no I meant ass or sandwich….. Maybe an ass sandwich! YES THAT IS THE BEST IDEA EVER! ROAR!**

**_…. Who gave you jelly tots?_**

**OMG NARUTO! YOU ****_SHOULD _****HAVE BEEN THERE! THERE WAS LIKE THIS, LIKE ****_DUUUDE_**** WHO WAS GIVING OUT FREE CAKE SAMPLES AND I'M LIKE '****_NOOO_**** DUUDE CAKE IS LIKE SOOO LAST YESTERDAY' AND HE'S LIKE 'DUUDE' AND I ARE LIKE 'YEAH?' AND THEN HE'S ALL LIKE 'HAVE THESE JELLY TOTS' AND 'M LIKE 'DUUUDE THANKSSS' AND HE LIKE 'COOL' THEN THIS RACOON DOG SHOWED UP WANTING A DONUT BUT THEN HE LIKE SAW ME AND STARTED MAKING OUT WITH ME AND AND OKAY I STARTED MAKING OUT WITH HIM BUT HE LIKED IT I COULD TELL!*****

**_…._**

**NARUTO?! NAAARUUUTOOO! ARE YOU LIKE ****_DEAD?! Omg! _****I KILLED HIM****_! _**

**_No you twit I'm no freaking dead! Could you shuddup for like four minutes!?_**

**MAYBE….. YES…NO ;)**

**_God!_**

**YOU'RE WAY OFF THERE MY FRIEND! BP**

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**Stay tuned for the next episode of, DRAGON BALL Z! Oh wait... oops sorry!**

**Oh noz the dreaded cliffhanger! Will Kyuubi ever get his sandwich, what does Sasuke have to do with Naruto's past, will they ever stop interuppting each other, why am I asking all theses questions?!**

**Stay tuned and all will be revealed...**

**Love Shadowhunter~**


	3. BLOOD SAMICHES! YUM!

After the excessive amounts of the over usage of jelly tots and the word 'like', Naruto begged Iruka for him to be moved into Sasuke's room. This is how the conversation went…..

"Iruka PLEASE!"

"No Naruto, Sasuke is dangerous and unpredictable, who knows what he'll do to you once we're gone."

"But-"

"Nope."

"Plea-"

"No."

"Apple-"

"FINE Dammit! But don't come running to me when you get hurt or even worse, like a paper cut, you have to go to Kakashi for that since he has the plasters." Iruka huffed and grabbed Naruto's hand, Naruto let out a surprised yelp when Iruka dragged him down the corridor, quite literally.

"YAY! Thanks Iruka you the best muthalicker there is!"

**Yo Naruto! Where is my bloody sandwich! And please don't include actual blood like the last time, even though I did enjoy it I didn't enjoy the next few hours of getting beaten by those people you stole the blood from….**

**_Hey Kyuubi…._**

**What?**

**_Boot to tha head!_**

**… What?**

**_HAHAHA! We're in a mental institute we won't be beaten for eating a blood sandwich here! Just put into isolation with nice white walls and soft floors!_**

**…. OMG! I did not think of that! Ooooo maybe that Sasuke will lend us some blood, he smells great!**

Before Naruto could answer a pale hand slapped him in the face, when the world came back into focus a pale face was just a few centimetres from his face.

"Holy crap monkeys! A Chicken butt tomato smoocher is gonna eat my face! Bwahaha!" Naruto screamed, jumping backwards (albeit like a total badass!) but then he realised it was just Sasuke. "Oh hey Sasuke! Can I ask you a question? Would you allow me to drink your blood? Kyuubi keeps moaning at me because he hasn't had blood or a sandwich for a while, well he's actually never HAD anything before, but anyway so- hmmpfth?"

The feeling of soft warm lips on his shut Naruto up immediately and he moaned in surprise, opening his mouth to ask Sasuke what he was doing. The idea was bad, or for Sasuke good, as a tongue leapt inside the moist cavern and started mapping out the unexplored territory. Naruto started moaning like a wonton slut as his sensitive body was attacked by Sasuke, a small trail of saliva dribbled down his chin. Sasuke roughly pushed him down onto the thin bed and started sucking on his neck.

"Ngh… hmm…Sasuke!" Naruto moaned when the raven haired boy slid his hand up the thin material of the shirt he was wearing and started swiping his thumbs over Naruto's hardened nipples.

"O my goooooood! I left the iron on!" Naruto shouted and sat up, causing Sasuke to fall onto the floor.

Naruto ran out the crying about how his favourite socks were going to burned and eaten by the gnomes that live under his bed. He didn't see the wall that blocked his way and his face got the pleasure of meeting the white painted wall. Naruto started crying and banging his fists against the wall until they started to bled, but as soon as one drop of blood hit the floor there was a warm body pressed against his back while a pale hand (not as pale as Sasuke's) reached over his shoulder and grasped his hand.

"What, who, when, cookie!? Who the heck are- NGH!" Naruto couldn't hold back the moan that escaped his mouth when the person behind him started licking the bloody wound on his hand.

Naruto let out a sigh of relief when the person let go but it was short lived when warm kisses were placed on the back of his neck, hands crept up the front of his shirt as the mysterious person started sucking harshly probably leaving dark bruises.

"What the youth are you two youthful youths doing so youthfully in this youth filled hallway on the youthful day?" A voice said causing Naruto to flash back to earlier today from another youthful person (O.O), which cause him to scream a little.

"Oh hello Gai-sensei I was just helping Naruto here with a little problem, you can move along now." The deep voice startled Naruto, more so when he realised that his only hope of keeping his innocence was gonna leave, but before he could say anything a blood smelling hand clamp over his mouth. The smell was intoxicating and his breathed in deeply.

"I don't believe I've introduced myself, I'm Gaara Sabuku and I think I wanna have sex with you."


End file.
